Suicide thoughts

I was never considered special to a guy. I was never considered that I might just be the most beautiful thing he’d see in a wedding dress. Guys always chose their ex’s over me. About five of them have. And my self esteem level is so low I don’t know what to do. What did I do to deserve this rejection? It’s brought me to suicide thoughts constantly . Never being good enough even to the sweetest of men turned me down. The suicide thoughts were endless. I tried living up to Gods expectations thinking he might provide a guy in doing so. Nope. I kept wanting to kill myself over and over because of the rejection.my rejection journey was so overwhelming strong. I just wanted simple arms to hold me and actually care. But it  never happened. And here I am alon trying to keep alive and love myself

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