Life has taken an interesting turn for me. When has it not really? Sometimes my life can be predictable and then very quickly unpredictable. I have a love hate relationship with the unpredictable events. I don’t react to new things in life so anxiety really isn’t my cup of teat. Pretty sure anxiety isn’t anyone’s cup of teat. I have anxiety about money all the time. Because lets be realistic. It buys you food, shelter, and medical needs. No it doesn’t bring all of your happiness but it does take away a lot of the anxiety. I have applied to jobs that could support me but problem is they are very competitive to get into. I never imagined how competitive it was to just to make a few dollars to get buy. It’s amazing I’ve survived this long
I put the worst priorities first instead of the most important ones. I obsessed over having a boyfriend, having a family, and then I would worry about financial security. Those things of course were an incredibly big waist of time. It’s amazing how young you have to start to learn how to survive. I wouldn’t necessarily call living in America is survival of the fittest territory, but you do have to be smart about your money. Thankfully in America there are tons of things to do that are free. The smart ones that handle money the right way look for them. I used to be really care free about my money. But now I am very cautious and splurge a little but not often at all. I miss splurging on myself but I must be strong and concentrate on the necessities of life.
Now on to more irrelevant subjects. I used to think I would marry a rich boy and live happily ever after. I am not twenty-six and can barely afford gum. No it’s not the most ideal place to live in. But somehow for the past ten years since I was sixteen, I’ve managed to survive. It’s mind boggling how many problems you can add into your life to distract yourself from the really big problems. I think most humans do that right? One day I might meet the man that needs me, and I’ll need him. But thinking about the present and knowing that I am single, is hard to comprehend most times. I believe it’s a little harder for females to do then men but that’s just how I perceive it. Being tough was never one of my strong suits when a dream wasn’t successful. But other doors have opened and made me happy. Who knows hopefully those doors will continue and my life will stay happy too.